Weekly Wire
Metro Pulse Psychic Movie Predictions

DECEMBER 28, 1999: 

Oliver Stone shifts from conspiracy theories to the gridiron in this "look at contemporary society through the dynamic prism of professional sports." And, nope, I'm not making that last bit up. This dynamic prism stars Dennis Quaid, Al Pacino, Cameron Diaz, James Woods, LL Cool J, and, goodness gracious, Charleton Heston.
Prediction: Can all of society be distilled into the war-like world of football? Maybe, just maybe. But the Guru wonders if Stone will get too wrapped up in his own brilliance and forget that there is an actual audience who is sitting though his conjectures.
Probable Entertainment Value: B

Admittedly, I'm a huge John Irving fan and this is my all-time favorite book of his, with its sweeping story of a young orphan who grows up to be a doctor yet still has no idea how he fits into the world. Fortunately, Irving also wrote the screenplay, which means it should be a better adaptation than (shudder) Simon Birch. The wonderful Lasse Hallstršm (What's Eating Gilbert Grape) directs.
Prediction: The sepia-toned reveries may be a bit heavy at times, but it will still be an interesting story told well.
Probable Entertainment Value: B

Tim Allen isn't an astronaut; he only played one on TV. Now, aliens have landed and demand that Allen save them from a fate worse than death. No, not syndication.
Prediction: With Allen, Sigourney Weaver, Alan Rickman, and Tony Shalhoub, you know it will be well acted and fun. Not great art, but a hoot and a half.
Probable Entertainment Value: B

This is the life of the enigmatic yet hysterical Andy Kaufman, directed by Milos Forman, and starring Jim Carrey (who may very well be the topic of his own bio-pic in 20 years), Danny DeVito, and Courtney Love.
Prediction: Can you hear the Oscar buzz? I knew that you could.
Probable Entertainment Value: A

Matt Damon craves the "good life" of the young, the rich, and the high-born—and will kill to get it. Part suspense, part social commentary on the 1950s, Talented is all, uh, talent, with the likes of Jude Law, Gwyneth Paltrow, and director Anthony Minghella (The English Patient) on board.
Prediction: Like Patient, it'll probably be about 30 minutes too long. But what a beautiful 30 minutes they will be.
Probable Entertainment Value: B

The members of a small, Jewish village in 1941 Central Europe learn of the on-coming Nazi occupation and organize a fake deportation train to carry them clandestinely to Palestine. But it's funny, like Life is Beautiful is funny.
Prediction: Train won the Audience Award at this year's Sundance, which just shows you how much American audiences love these "Holocaust comedies," even though they give the Guru a rash.
Probable Entertainment Value: C

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