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Volume I, Issue 26
December 1 - December 8, 1997
Everybody has a theory about the meaning of Christmas (see related
story in this week's News section). Here's mine: Christmas is
about learning to live through disappointment. You probably think
I'm being cynical and negative like some sort of uptight Virgo,
but you're wrong. Overcoming frustrated expectations is the key
to survival and success. Why else does Frosty melt, if not to
teach kids that all things must die? Why else does the board game
Mystery Date exist, if not to introduce girls to the disappointing
randomness of love?
Christmas is like that. We teach our children that their moral
behavior over the course of the year determines Santa's generosity.
We encourage them to write wish lists for Santa and mail them
to a postal address that doesn't exist. And then on Christmas
morning, when they're desperately pining for remote-controlled
helicopters and $200 stuffed animals, what do we give them? Underwear.
At least, I give my kids underwear. They cry, sure, but
they're learning a valuable lesson that I know they'll appreciate
later on. Plus, they get to own a wide assortment of underwear.
So teach your kids a lesson this Christmas: when they ask for
snowshoes, give them old tennis rackets and some twine. When they
ask for a trip to Bermuda, take them to Delhi. When they ask for
lobster, give them shrimp. When they ask for the latest hot CD-ROM
computer game, give them an old Atari 2600 game system (complete
with a cartridge for video miniature golf). Dysfunctional? Hardly.
It's the reason for the season!
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Art and Obsession 
George Dunbar at NOMA through December, and Franklin Adams at Earth & Fire through November. [11]
D. Eric Bookhardt
Mixed-Media Memories 
Emmi Whitehorse was reared in the traditional Navajo fashion until she went off to school, where she eventually learned about Western European art traditions. [12]
Margaret Regan
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First In Line for Christmas 
'Tis always the season for the Yuletide-obsessed. [2]
Frank Sennett
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The Hitchhiker's Guide to Monty Python 
An interview with the writer of "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" and the director of "The Life of Brian" about their newest collaboration. [3]
Devin D. O'Leary
Fast, Cheap & Out In the Snow 
Two stories in this file. 1: Skiing and boarding on the cheap. 2: "Snowshoeing: The Gathering," by Cheryl Fox. Snowshoeing conjures the image of the lone mountain man, but today is accessible to almost anybody. [4]
Bill Frost
Escape From Delhi (Part 2) 
Or, how to foil fortune-tellers, bargain with postmen, and sedate bomb-totin' loonies. [5]
Paul Gerald
Stargazing in Cyberspace 
Surfing the Web with a guy who can't swim. [6]
Devin D. O'Leary
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Last Suppers 
Breaking out the menu for death-row inmates in Illinois. [7]
Frank Sennett
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O Solo Me-O 
Funnyman Rob Nash returns to Austin. [8]
J.C. Shakespeare
Balancing Act 
Review of "A Delicate Balance." [9]
Dalt Wonk
Exhibitionism 
Reviews of Juno and the Paycock at The Acting Studio; and Spirit Places and Faces at ACA Gallery @ ArtPlex. [10]
Now What? 
A gallery of captivating links to keep your imagination churning while the paint dries. [23]
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