Weekly Wire
Weekly Alibi Odds & Ends

By Devin D. O'Leary

NOVEMBER 24, 1997:

Dateline: New York--When the publishers of Time magazine decided to name the "100 People of the Century" with a little help from their readers, they could never have guessed the response they've been getting. It seems a quarter million letter, postcard, fax and e-mail submissions a day have been flooding the offices of Time--all in support of one man. Mustafa Kemal Ataturk may not be a household name, but he was the first president of Turkey. Although he died in 1938, he is currently tops in every single one of Time magazine's categories, including: statesmen, adventurers, scientists, entertainers and, of course, Person of the Century. Sadly, the publishers have disallowed ballot-stuffing and have eliminated Ataturk from the running.

Dateline: Iran--Iranian newspapers reported last week on the case of a struggling writer who repeatedly beat his wife and locked her for hours inside a room in order to write a more "realistic" novel. The woman, who has filed for divorce, told a judge that her husband struck her under various pretexts and would then "scrutinize me and take notes as I was squirming in pain." At times, the husband would also lock his wife in a room for hours and stare at her through a window above the door. The author apparently thought that his wife's reactions would give him inspiration to write a realistic best-selling book. The man apologized to his wife but says he still loves her and refuses to consent to a divorce. The judge said he would be sent to jail if his wife refused to forgive him.

Dateline: Connecticut--A man in Bridgeport, Conn., with severe emphysema apparently lit up a cigarette while hooked to his oxygen tank. According to local fire officials, the man blew up his house "like a bomb." The man died instantly, destroyed his house and incinerated a tree and a telephone pole on the sidewalk out front.

Dateline: Utah--Actor Mike Lookinland, best known as young Bobby Brady on "The Brady Bunch," was arrested last weekend on drunken driving charges after rolling his Ford Bronco outside St. George, Utah.

Dateline: Michigan--A hospital in Bay City, Mich., now blames--and has fired--a veteran surgical nurse for leaving a 3-by-7-inch spatula inside a patient. The spatula remained internal for four months before it was discovered. The nurse says it's the doctor's fault. The doctor is now suing the nurse and the union. The patient, meanwhile, is suing the doctor and the hospital. No word yet on who the nurse and the hospital are suing, but stay tuned.

Dateline: Arizona--The crime prevention coordinator for Arizona State University was arrested last week and charged with burglarizing a campus office. Radawna Michelle allegedly pried open a desk and stole several CDs and some cash. She was arrested shortly afterwards and charged with burglary, possession of burglary tools and theft. The stolen CDs were found in Michelle's office.

Dateline: New York--Famed Macy's department store in New York City will be eliminating their traditional woods-and-village "Santaland" this Christmas season and replacing it with the new high-tech "Santa Claus Adventure." The tiny computerized theme park will include rumbling floors, animated Christmas trees, interactive candy machines and a talking robot greeter. Consequently, any child who asks Santa for a dolly, choo-choo train or other noncybernetic toy will be given an Intel Pentium chip and sent home.


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