Weekly Wire
Metro Pulse Psychic Movie Predictions

NOVEMBER 1, 1999: 

A nutty billionaire (Geoffrey Rush) invites five strangers to spend the night in the now-abandoned Vannacutt Psychiatric Institute for the Criminally Insane. If they make it until dawn, they win a million bucks. Surely it must be easier to give Regis Philbin a call?
Prediction: You should get a million dollars if you can make it all the way through this schlock.
Probable Entertainment Value: D

Meryl Streep teaches inner-city youths to play the violin. Based on a true story and directed by Wes "Scream" Craven!
Prediction: It'll be sweeter than spoonful of sugar and about as filling.
Probable Entertainment Value: D

Colin Firth, Rosemary Harris, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, and Malcolm McDowell putter about Scotland in the 1920s, filtered through the eyes of a 10-year-old boy.
Prediction: This film reunites director Hugh Hudson and producer David Puttnam—the same team who created Chariots of Fire. It'll tastefully warm your heart and restore your faith in humanity.
Probable Entertainment Value: B

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