Weekly Wire
Metro Pulse Psychic Movie Predictions

SEPTEMBER 27, 1999: 

A group of aging French yuppies (a flock? a gaggle? a Cuisinart?) hold a contest—whomever brings the biggest fool wins. Heck, they have three Knoxville mayoral candidates to pick from...
Prediction: This was the biggest hit in France in '98, second only to Titanic. But the French also love Jerry Lewis.
Probable Entertainment Value: C

Former Kid in the Hall Bruce McCullough wrote this comedy about quippy, neurotic, Canadian thirtysomethings who have dogs and try to make sense of romance. With Luke Wilson, Mark McKinney, and Janeane Garofalo.
Prediction: The Guru is a huge Kids fans so, admittedly, may be biased. Still, Garofalo makes any picture worth seeing. And, hey, it was filmed in Canada!
Probable Entertainment Value: B

Ashley Judd may or may not have killed her husband. Tommy Lee Jones may or may not let her skip out on parole to prove her innocence. You may or may not actually care.
Prediction: If you've seen any of the TV ads for this flick you already know how it ends—how much that bothers you is proportional to how much you'll like this movie. But, word of warning, it's looking a lot like warmed-over Fugitive.
Probable Entertainment Value: C

Robin Williams tries to out-Benigni Benigni in this "heart-warming" tale of Nazi resistance in occupied Poland.
Prediction: I've just lost all faith in Williams delivering more than the same old hollow goofiness. This is just looking a lot like warmed-over Life Is Beautiful.
Probable Entertainment Value: C

Dr. Mumford (Loren Dean) delivers no-nonsense advice to small-town and predictably quirky locals, like Alfre Woodard, Mary McDonnell, Martin Short, Ted Danson, and Jason Lee. Only, the joke is, he's not a real doctor! Quick—get me a knee to slap!
Prediction: Writer/director Lawrence Kasdan used to actually have something to say in a distinctive way—witness hits like The Big Chill, Body Heat, and Silverado. But, lately, he's been churning out fodder like Grand Canyon and Wyatt Earp. I'll give you two guesses on which Kasdan showed up for this one.
Probable Entertainment Value: C

Peter Ustinov stars in a send-up of every Merchant-Ivory flick ever made.
Prediction: How do you parody something that is already a parody of itself? What is the sound of one hand clapping? Is it the same sound as an audience not laughing?
Probable Entertainment Value: C

Weekly Wire Suggested Links

Page Back Last Issue Current Issue Next Issue Page Forward

Film & TV: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

Cover . News . Film . Music . Arts . Books . Comics . Search

Weekly Wire    © 1995-99 DesertNet, LLC . Metro Pulse . Info Booth . Powered by Dispatch