Weekly Wire
Metro Pulse Psychic Movie Predictions

SEPTEMBER 21, 1998: 

Wong Kar-Wai's films, like Happy Together and Chungking Express, don't really have a succinct plot that can be summed up in a colorful sentence. Fallen Angels (in a one-night engagement at the Clarence Brown Theatre) is more or less about Hong Kong, technology, and communication, told eccentrically and artistically.
Prediction: This will probably be one of the better pieces of sheer film-making that you'll see all year.
Probable Entertainment Value: A

Ally Sheedy, in her sixth or seventh comeback bid, plays Lucy, a former famous photographer and now strung-out smack addict madly in love with the much older Greta (Patricia Clarkson). Syd (Radha Mitchell) is the downstairs neighbor who hooks up with Lucy in order to get ahead. Let the love triangle commence!
Prediction: Ebert gave it a big thumbs up; the rest of the world thinks it's pretentious crap. Flip a coin.
Probable Entertainment Value: C

Meryl Streep, Renée Zellweger, and William Hurt star in this adaptation of Anna Quindlen's novel of the same name. Both book and novel are about mothers, daughters, husbands, and sons. You know—life.
Prediction: Bring a box of tissues. This will be a weeper, but in that good, cathartic kind of way. Hopefully, Meryl Streep has forgotten The River Wild, a weeper in that not-so-good, when-will-this-misery-end kind of way.
Probable Entertainment Value: C

Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker bust stuff up. Who needs a plot?
Prediction: Is it just me or could Tucker's voice induce an epileptic seizure? Go if you love Jackie Chan, 'cos that's what this flick is all about.
Probable Entertainment Value: C

Simon Birch was the tiniest baby ever born at Gravestown Memorial Hospital. Because of this, Simon is certain he's going to be a hero. The boy bonds with Joe, another young boy who needs to find his missing father. And we leave the theater feeling all warm and squishy.
Prediction: Allegedly, Simon Birch was "suggested by" John Irving's A Prayer for Owen Meany. I'll give a nickel to the first person who can explain just what in the heck that means.
Probable Entertainment Value: B

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