Weekly Wire
Austin Chronicle Mr. Smarty Pants

By Mr. Smarty Pants

AUGUST 28, 2000: 

According to a prominent futurist, the No.1 status symbol in America today is a long marriage.

The word "buccaneers" is derived from boucaniers -- West Indies inhabitants who preserved meat by roasting it on a barbecue and curing it with smoke. Their fire pit and grating were called a boucan, and the finished strips of meat were also known as boucan.

In order to claim he was "over 18," Joseph Foraker wrote an "18" on the bottom of his shoe and therefore was able to join the army during the Civil War.

"Kemosabe" means "white shirt" in Apache, "soggy shrub" in Navajo.

They still sell 3.5 gallon capacity toilets in Canada.

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