Battling the Birds and the Bees
An Interview With the Author of The Curiosity Book
By Jessica English
AUGUST 17, 1998:
Talk shows exploit sex. Even the more conservative ones pander
to carnivalesque displays of guests in fish nets and leather,
appearing on national TV to admit that they were once men, or
to showcase 12-year-old kids in sexual overdrive.
But last spring when author James E. Hunter appeared on a talk
show panel about early sexuality, the host told him that he didn't
feel comfortable using Hunter's newly released book for children
and parents on the show. In fact, it seemed that many people were
uncomfortable with The Curiosity Book, subtitled "An
Owner's Manual on Positive Body Awareness for Young Children and
Their Parents." Hunter's publisher couldn't get a distributor
for the book, and after a couple of booksellers started to sell
it on the Web, it mysteriously disappeared.
Hunter has been using a slightly different version of the controversial
book for years in his practice as a licensed social worker in
therapy with children. As a tool for parents to open discussion
with their children, The Curiosity Book is divided into
two sections: one strictly for parents and another for parents
to read with their children. The text among the photographs in
the children's section is purposefully spare, separating the information
from a specific set of values so each parent can discuss ideas
about sex and the body with their children as they see fit. Most
of this section is composed of striking black-and-white photographs
of people of both sexes, all ages and all cultures, clothed and
unclothed: National Geographic-like scenes of indigenous
tribes, children swinging from ropes into a river, a mother breastfeeding,
a silhouette of a pregnant woman. Herein lies one controversy
surrounding The Curiosity Book: that naked children are
shown, though in poses from everyday life.
"There's a sense that nakedness is pornography," Hunter
said in a telephone interview with Weekly Alibi from his
home in Lincoln, Maine. "There is the idea that information
is dangerous. ... What provides safety for children is communication
between a child and his parents or caregivers."
The children who appear in the photographs all had releases signed
or are now adults who consented to appearing in the book, Hunter
said. The inclusion of these photos in the book is necessary to
its agenda, which Hunter said is to separate shame from curiosity,
to open communication and to create positive body image.
The single biggest controversy over The Curiosity Book, according
to Hunter, is that masturbation was mentioned in the parents'
section of the book. There is, however, no direct reference to
sexual feelings or acts within the children's section of the book.
Hunter believes another reason this book makes people uncomfortable
is because it proposes that children have sexual feelings. But
they do, he contends, and extensive research has proven that children
begin to have significant sexual feelings by age two or three.
"By the time kids are six or seven, they think (sexual) feelings
are bad or shameful. It's the norm."
Because of the bombardment of sex in our society--on television,
in advertisements and music--the "birds and the bees"
talk comes much earlier. "If parents don't discuss these
issues with their children ... it causes shame about one's body.
It impacts a person's self-esteem and (causes) shame about curiosity."
Most of what parents would traditionally find in the library or
bookstores about sex and the body, Hunter said, avert the issue,
which is what pushed him to write The Curiosity Book. "Most
(of the books) were cartoons and drawings, which made it seem
like a joke, too tongue-in-cheek to deal with the issues, or medical
journal-like pictures, which made the body look like a disease."
As far as sexual education goes, Hunter believes that Americans
are more repressed now than they were even in the 1950s and that
the level of hysteria about sex is higher than it was the generation
before. "It's the continuing Puritanism that the country
was founded on," he said. "We're caught between two
extremes. ... One camp says Eros is nasty; the other has the excessively
liberated idea that ... sex is recreation, (which) separates it
from attachment."
Still, Hunter believes that both liberals and conservatives have
a piece of the truth about how sexuality should be approached
with children. "Such discussions don't happen without a bit
of tension." It's the kind of tension that a little healthy
curiosity can create. (Five Corners, paper, $24.95)
The Curiosity Book is now available in local bookstores, on
the Web or from the publisher at (800) 972-3868.

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