Weekly Wire
Metro Pulse Psychic Movie Predictions

AUGUST 16, 1999: 

Steve Martin plays a down-on-his-luck, morally bankrupt movie producer/director who hatches a scheme to reclaim his lost glory—and it involves Eddie Murphy, Heather Graham, Christine Baranski, and Terence Stamp. Plus, Robert Downey, Jr. stops in between his real life trips to jail.
Prediction: Martin writes. Brian Grazer (The Nutty Professor, Liar Liar) produces. And Frank Oz (In & Out) directs. I'm sure it'll all turn out fine—if amazingly uninspiring—in the end.
Probable Entertainment Value: C

Claire Danes and Kate Beckinsale are two teens who treat themselves to a trip to Bangkok, only to be seduced by a suave Australian and thrown in a Thai jail for smuggling heroin. Oh, goody, this is the second "American in scummy Asian jail" film of the year—this time with girls.
Prediction: Danes will get to stretch her already-large acting talent under the direction of Jonathan Kaplan, who brought out Jodie Foster in The Accused, Michelle Pfeiffer in Love Field, and Bonnie Bedelia in Heart Like a Wheel. I smell an Oscar ploy!
Probable Entertainment Value: B

Four teens lie, cheat, and coerce their way into a 1978 KISS concert. Stop the insanity.
Prediction: About the best that can be said is that all four original KISS members (plus Gene Simmons' tongue) make an appearance. The rest can be thrown on that great celluloid heap in the sky.
Probable Entertainment Value: D

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