Weekly Wire
Metro Pulse Psychic Movie Predictions

JULY 19, 1999: 

Here's what we know: Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman are in it. Stanley Kubrick directed it and then dropped dead. And its plot (and everything else about the picture) is the most closely guarded secret since Ollie North started shredding documents.
Prediction: Honestly, your guess is as good as mine. Could be crap. Could be brilliant. But worth seeing just to find out, no?
Probable Entertainment Value: A

Bridget Fonda. Big, hungry alligator. Bill Pullman. A quiet lake in New York state. "Oh, no. Don't eat me!" Blood spurts. Good triumphs in the end.
Prediction: Gosh. They are really running out of bad guys, aren't they? Yawn.
Probable Entertainment Value: D

This time Gonzo takes the stage and searches the universe for clues to his past. These lovable puppets are joined by a human cast of thousands, like Jeffrey Tambor, Hollywood (don't call me Hulk) Hogan, and Kathy Griffin, who can all act without having a hand up their heinies. Well, we're not sure about Hogan...
Prediction: Who cares? ¡Viva Muppets!
Probable Entertainment Value: B

Something about getting married make men lose their minds, just ask Roland (Taye Diggs) who spends the night before his nuptials running to his best friends for a stroll down memory lane. Omar Epps and Richard T. Jones are more than happy to oblige, and the three mentally trip back to Inglewood in the '80s, when it was all about jheri curls and chasing girls.
Prediction: The Wood is co-produced by MTV, whose recent forays into the motion picture biz (Election, Varsity Blues, 200 Cigarettes) have been pretty good, fresh movies. And there's no reason to think The Wood would be anything different.
Probable Entertainment Value: B

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