Weekly Wire
Metro Pulse Psychic Movie Predictions

JULY 13, 1998: 

Apparently, Warner Brothers firmly believes audiences were simply clamoring for another Lethal Weapon movie and would not sleep at night until another was delivered. Far be it from me to spoil their delusions. Y'all should know the drill by now: Riggs (Mel Gibson) and Murtaugh (Danny Glover) are called upon to bust up a crime ring. Their divergent personalities will be the cause of the comedy. Some gunplay will break up the jokes. And, this time, Chris Rock will cash in on the lucrative series.
Prediction: Though it pains me to admit it, I still kind of like the Gibson/Glover chemistry—it hasn't lost any of its spark—and want to know what happens to them, even though I could have lived without yet another sequel. Ouch. That hurt. Hopefully, the pain will pass by the time this makes it to video, the proper medium for the fourth installment of any series.

Probable Entertainment Value: C

The delightful children's book has come to life. Frances McDormand plays the orderly Miss Clavel, governess to 12 little girls, the smallest (and bravest) of which is Madeline. Nigel Hawthorne plays the villainous Lord Covington, whose seemingly cruel machinations are only a front for his lonely heart. But no heart can stay lonely long, especially in Paris and after Madeline sets her sharp mind to work.
Prediction: Love the books. Love McDormand and Hawthorne. Fear for the script, which has to piece together six different stories in search of a coherent plot.

Probable Entertainment Value: B

Dolls—excuse me—action figures have come to life and are kickin' each others' plastic butts on the front lawn, with the help of ILM and some heavy CGI. Where have I seen this before?
Prediction: Ironic, isn't it, that Small Soldiers opens the same weekend as Madeline. It's like some strange cosmic force is at work, pitting the heart-warming against the heart-skewering to see which will win the American ticket buck. My bet? The one that has more explosions will win. But it will be a hollow victory.

Probable Entertainment Value: B

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