By Norma Jean

July 8, 1997:  OK, I'm due to jump an airplane this morning and my column is due right now. I'm practically pulling out my eyebrows trying to find the topic; then zoom, a love e-mail beeps onto my screen at just the right moment like magic. It promises if I send this message to 16 people I will have more than enough luck for the rest of my life! Well guess who feels compelled to share this with 100,000 readers? Damn, I'd like to hit the lottery as soon as possible!

LIFE

Life isn't about keeping score. It's not about how many friends you have, or how accepted you are. Life's not about whether you have plans this weekend or if you're alone.

It isn't about who you're dating, who you used to date, how many people you've dated, or if you haven't been with anyone at all.

Life isn't about who your family is or how much money they have, or where you were sent to school. It's not about how beautiful or ugly you are, or what clothes you wear, what shoes you have on, or what kind of music you listen to. It's not about if your hair is blonde or red or black or bald. And it's not about the color of your skin.

Life isn't about who your friends think you are, what grades you get, how smart you are, how smart everyone else thinks you are, or how smart the standardized tests say you are.

It's not about representing your whole being on a piece of paper and seeing who will "accept the written you."

And it's not about the clubs you belong to or how excellent you are at your "sport."

LIFE IS ABOUT

But, life is about who you love and who you hurt. It's about who you make happy or unhappy, purposefully. It's about keeping or betraying trust. It's about friendship, used as a sanctity or a weapon. It's about what you say and mean, maybe hurtful, maybe heartening.

Life unfolds around what judgments you pass and why; and who your judgments are spread to. It's about who you've ignored with full control and intention.

It's about jealousy, fear, ignorance and revenge. It's about carrying inner hate and love, letting it grow, and spreading it.

But most of all it's about using your life to touch or poison other people's hearts in such a way that could never have occurred alone. Only you choose that way those hearts are affected, and those choices are what life is all about.

I thank the wonderful Casa Vieja in Coralles for a very lovely party. To all the folks who showed up and shared a little piece of themselves over yummy pizza: Good luck! We'll be having the next Ad Writing Workshop and Singles Party, Friday Aug. 8 at Rojo Grille inside the Wyndham Hotel. Come back and tell us about your experiences!