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Home Wrecker
New Benz may make you want to sell the house
By Marc Stengel
JULY 5, 1999:
"Thanks a lot, Marc," was the first thing Susan said over the phone.
"Now Rick says he wants to sell the house."
How was I to know that a perfectly innocent gesture the previous evening
would turn Susan's world upside down? Rick had overheard me telling some
fellow guests at a party how much I was enjoying--nay,
worshiping--Mercedes-Benz's new 2000-model S430 that had arrived for an
evaluation. Not the most enthusiastic car nut, Rick initiated the challenge
himself. "C'mon," he said. "It's just a car. For crying out loud." All I
did was make an offer: "Wanna go for a drive around the block?"
It was a sucker punch, I readily admit. Only I couldn't have known that
Rick has a glass jaw. When he slid into the passenger seat, I suggested he
not slam the door. So he pulled the armrest toward himself gingerly until
an electro-pneumatic controller sneaked the door away from his grasp and
gently but firmly latched it shut. His eyes bugged. "Hit that button in the
door panel there labeled 'E'," I said. When he did, a microchip calculated
Rick's body weight and approximate dimensions, then adjusted legroom, back
angle, head restraint, and shoulder-belt height to a general fit. "After
you fine-tune 'em," I said, "just save the settings for future use." The
faint whistling noise I heard next sounded like a gasp to me.
I started up and inserted a CD. "Tunes?" Rick asked. "Nope," I said. "CD
changer's in the trunk. This will blow your mind," I predicted. Accurately,
as it turns out.
A video display in the center of the dash blinked to life. I scrolled
through the Web-like "pages" that controlled telephone operation, radio
tuning, audio EQ, and CD disk and song sequence. In a moment, a
crystal-clear map materialized from the navigation CD I'd just installed.
Our location was centered within it. Using an unusual but efficient "spin
and punch" knob that controls Mercedes' COMAND [i.e., COckpit Management
ANd Data] system, I entered a specific street address as our destination.
Lola, I'll call her, replied promptly that she was calculating our route.
When she was ready, she directed us to the street out front and to the
left. I asked her to instruct us again--in French. Ooh-la-la! Rick was in
love, poor sap. Poor Susan.
Precisely how much poorer is likely to be $71,915, if Rick follows
through with his blind-sided infatuation with M-B's new S-Class. Base price
for the new S430 is $69,700; the six-CD changer in the trunk and the
integrated, voice-recognition telephone bundled up for $1,620 as the only
option on my tester. The car shares its 4.3 liter, 275-horsepower V8 with
the mid-size E430 sedan and brutish ML430 All-Activity Vehicle. Right
there, however, stops the similarity between this new S-Class sedan and any
other vehicle on the road.
Mercedes strides right into the lion's den with this top-of-the-line
sedan. Hungry rivals are poised to take advantage of any weakness, real or
perceived. The short list includes BMW's 740iL for $66,400 (base) at 282
horsepower; Audi's A8 4.2 Quattro ($65,000/300 HP); the Jaguar XJ8 Vanden
Plas ($64,300/290 HP); Infiniti's Q45t ($49,900/266 HP); and Lexus' LS400
($53,805/290 HP). It would be hard to gripe with any of these premium
luxury sedans, particularly with Audi's stunning A8. And the Japanese
contenders at least concede something to price. The significance of the
gauntlet that Mercedes has cast down for the 2000 model year, however, is
that these rivals remain just cars, while the S430 has attempted to
transcend onto another realm altogether.
Perhaps Rick is unwittingly prescient to consider trading his
bricks-and-mortar home for the mobile habitat of a new S-Class.
Mercedes-Benz has accomplished a fundamental, if subtle, shift in the
function and purpose of the automobile with this latest ultra-sedan. It is
not a means of transportation between two points. It is the point.
This car enmeshes its driver and occupants in a sort of feedback loop of
locomotion. You sit; it comforts and literally massages you through
ventilated Nappa leather. You get hungry; its navigation system proposes
nearby restaurants and taverns. You steer off course; it recalculates and
gently reins you back to bearings.
If you're too hot, but your passengers are not, the S430 "zones" you
into personalized micro-climates. Available SmartCruise technology employs
radar in the car's grille to maintain a precise gap between you and forward
traffic. In other words, when this gap narrows, the system throttles back
and even applies up to 20 percent braking to maintain your preset distance
until traffic congestion clears again. Road-sensing AIRmatic suspension
lowers the car about half an inch at sustained speeds over 68 miles an
hour, for the sake of fuel efficiency and ride quality. But if you're
determined to veer down that tempting gravel road, a dash control lets you
raise the ride height by an extra inch. And if you happen nonetheless to
high-side the transmission on that rutted back road, a three-button TeleAid
emergency phone link directs emergency assistance to your satellite-tagged
location.
Driving the S430 is no longer point-and-squirt toward an endpoint
destination. It is a full, extra-sensory immersion into the journey itself.
The electronic, drive-by-wire throttle spurs an eerily hushed acceleration
to 60 mph in 6.9 seconds. If, at this point, you happen to blink, the next
sight you see will be a speedometer reading three digits. An Electronic
Stability Program (ESP) seems to know whether you're about to skid before
you do--and it intervenes accordingly to save you from yourself.
Semi-automatic gear changes are a tip-of-the-finger proposition. Or just
keep it in Drive if you've no pretense to sportiness.
Best of all, the new S430 introduces itself to the world wearing a
muted, stylish envelope of sheet metal that is a far cry from the
conspicuous, boxy status-crate it replaces. It's almost a svelte sports
coupe in silhouette, and yet the interior volume is nominally larger than
in '99 (rear legroom particularly). There will, for this reason, be luxury
car prospects who will steer clear of the new S-Class and its polite
unpretensions. For some, after all, a luxury sedan should display what
you've done to get this far in life, not what you're capable of doing en
route to your next destination. I can only assume, however, that Susan and
Rick will not mind appearing a little less conspicuous within the
cityscape. Having traded in a house on a sedan, it might be that much
easier to pull over to the curb for a good night's sleep.

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