Weekly Wire
Metro Pulse Psychic Movie Predictions

JUNE 19, 2000: 

Two best friends "accidentally" sleep with each other. Then all heck breaks loose in this frothy teen sex comedy with Freddie Prinze, Jr., Claire Forlani, Jason Biggs, and Heather Donahue.
Prediction: I'm still a little fuzzy on how one accidentally has sex. I guess I'm just too old for this diverting-yet-meaningless masterpiece aimed at the teen (and pre-teen) set.
Probable Entertainment Value: C

8 1/2 WOMEN (R)
If a man thinks about sex every nine seconds, what occupies his mind the rest of the time? Director Peter Greenaway aims to find out in this cinematic chess game/homage to Fellini's 8 1/2 about a father and son who own a Geneva brothel.
Prediction: Fans of Greenaway's The Pillow Book will love this chilly, intellectual take on a hot, emotional subject. Others will be bewildered by it.
Probable Entertainment Value: B

Walt Disney had a dream and that dream was to create a "concert film" with a rotating repertoire. Sixty years ago, the dream was partly fulfilled by Fantasia. Now seven new animated shorts set to the classics are ready for the big screen, with one Sorcerer's Apprentice coming along for the ride.
Prediction: While we'll all ache for our favorites from the original (mine is the dancing elephants), this will be a visual and aural feast.
Probable Entertainment Value: A

Say what you will about their habits, but the Sex Pistols at least believed in something, which cannot be said about most music today. This is an unblinking look at their rise and fall (and fall and fall) put together by director Julien Temple.
Prediction: Like a Behind the Music with violence and smack—and about as addicting as all three combined.
Probable Entertainment Value: A

Demi Moore is a book reviewer living in Provence by day and a book agent who lives in NYC by night. Now she must discover which personality is a dream and which is reality. But in both, all she wants is the love of a good man. Awwww.
Prediction: Why is Moore still making movies? Am I the only one surprised by this?
Probable Entertainment Value: D

A 13-year old girl struggles to find herself—despite her unhappy family, despite her unsettled sexuality—in 1963's Montreal.
Prediction: It's Canadian coming-of-age film. Worse yet, it's French-Canadian coming-of-age film.
Probable Entertainment Value: C

Samuel L. Jackson is the nephew of the infamous Shaft—call him S:II. S:II has to track down a rich white kid (Christian Bale) who kills his girlfriend and S:II does it bigger, badder, and blacker than his infamous uncle.
Prediction: Director John Singleton and Jackson allegedly butted heads during the filming. Hopefully, this backstage drama won't subtract from what could be a killer summer movie. But I doubt it.
Probable Entertainment Value: C

An evil little alien race has blown up the Earth. The vocal talents of Matt Damon, Bill Pullman, John Leguizamo, Nathan Lane, and Janeane Garofalo try to find another home in this animated epic adventure.
Prediction: The screenplay was written by Ben Edlund (The Tick), John August, and Joss Whedon (Buffy the Vampire Slayer). This alone should make it worth the price of admission even if the effects and artistry weren't going to be simply dazzling.
Probable Entertainment Value: B

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