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![]() Heche and Ford shine but not the movie. By Gary Susman JUNE 15, 1998: Six Days, Seven Nights is not likely to be remembered as the film that answered the question whether America would buy an openly lesbian actress as a straight romantic lead in a mainstream Hollywood movie. In fact, it's not likely to be remembered at all. It's a thoroughly pleasant and painless diversion that -- for all its star power, ostentatious production values, and pre-release controversy -- is utterly forgettable.
Robin's boyfriend, Frank (played by Friends nebbish David Schwimmer -- think Ralph Bellamy), whisks her off to an island resort for the title's week-long vacation. Scarcely has he popped the question, however, when Robin learns she must fly to Tahiti for half a day for an emergency photo shoot. (Don't you just hate it when that happens?) She hires Quinn and his puddle jumper, but a sudden squall sends the plane crashing into a beach on the proverbial desert island. Although she seems to have packed a Mrs. Howell-sized selection of increasingly skimpy outfits, and he seems to have a Tim Allen-sized selection of tools, their radio and landing gear remain broken beyond repair, making rescue or escape unlikely. As their survival skills are tested by hazards from water snakes to pirates, their mutual antipathy evolves into attraction. You know the drill.
Too bad Reitman and first-time screenwriter Michael Browning have marooned the
couple in such a non-movie. The film is full of shots and sequences that evoke
similar scenes from romantic-adventure classics like The African Queen,
From Here to Eternity, and Butch Cassidy -- none of which Six
Days can hold a candle to. To distract from the frequently witless dialogue
and logic-defying plot, the filmmakers add a lot of noisy, absurdly
fake-looking computer-generated spectacle, from that tropical storm to
exploding shells. There's a tiresome subplot that has Frank tempted by Quinn's
island bimbo (Jacqueline Obradors) while the authorities search for their loved
ones, allowing Schwimmer's character to degenerate from a charming, romantic
guy into a pathetic, Ross-like dweeb. And given Quinn's realistic assessment
that he and Robin don't belong in each other's worlds, the movie falls apart in
the end trying to keep Ford and Heche together. Viewers would enjoy seeing them
together if only they could star in a movie that's as vivid as they are.
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