Weekly Wire
Metro Pulse Psychic Movie Predictions

JUNE 12, 2000: 

Hearken back to the heady year of 1946. Russia has become Stalin's playground and the Soviets are romping about their new empire. A bunch of Russian émigrés head back into the motherland after Stalin gives them an invite, only to be tossed in jail or summarily executed. And you thought Comrade Ashe was tough.
Prediction: Given that this is a French/Russian production, it'll be maudlin but complex, with a rip-tide of ripped-off Hollywood techniques. Think Spielberg meets Eisenstein meets Truffaut.
Probable Entertainment Value: C

Nicolas Cage is a car thief who must abscond with 50 vehicles in one night in order to save his brother, Giovanni Ribisi. Along the way, he bumps into Angelina Jolie, Robert Duvall, and Christopher Eccleston. And that is more or less it.
Prediction: Why am I so sleepy all of a sudden?
Probable Entertainment Value: C

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