Odds & Ends
By Devin D. O'Leary
JUNE 8, 1998:
Dateline: England--Following closely on the heels of the
popular new hot-tea-in-a-can, comes England's newest contribution
to cuisine convenience. Britain's Distinctive Drinks Co. has just
introduced its new French-wine-in-a-can. Instead of a troublesome
old cork, there's now a handy pop-top for winos on the go. The
wine, which comes in Rouge or Blanc, contains enough for two glasses
and sells for about $2. A special "nontoxic" coating
inside each can prevents an aluminum taste from corrupting the
Dateline: Vietnam--A fisherman off the coast of Vietnam's
central Quang Ngai province reeled in a whopper last Monday. According
to the Labor newspaper, the startled fisherman captured
a 33-pound seal from the North Pole. It is unknown whether the
seal escaped from captivity or somehow got lost on El Niño-fueled
ocean currents. The lost seal was sent to a nearby oceanographic
institute, where an official was quoted as saying that North Pole
seals have previously been found as far south as the Sea of Japan.
That sea, however, lies more than 2,000 miles north of Quang Ngai.
Dateline: Wisconsin--The police chief of Madison, Wis.,
thought he was onto a brilliant idea when he hid his handgun in
the oven to protect it from intruders. Unfortunately, the chief
forgot where the gun was hidden. He remembered last week when
he tried to cook a turkey in the already occupied oven. The handgun
went off, firing a bullet through the oven and lodging it in a
hallway banner. No one was injured. The turkey, presumably, was
Dateline: Kansas--DNA tests conducted on the miraculous
"bleeding plaque" of the Virgin Mary in Margarita Cazares'
Lewis, Kansas, living room prove that the blood belongs to Mrs.
Cazares. Believers, who have flocked to the small town about 120
miles west of Wichita, claim that this fact only adds to the miracle.
Dateline: Virginia--Police in Richmond, Va., had just wrapped
their investigation of a robbery at a Wachovia Bank branch when
the bank was robbed again. At 9:15 a.m., the first robber walked
in and handed a threatening note to a teller. The robber walked
away with an undetermined amount of cash. Some three hours later,
investigators wrapped up their case and the bank reopened. A second
robber promptly walked into the bank, announced that he had a
gun and also walked away with an undetermined amount of cash.
FBI spokesmen announced that they have no suspects in either robbery.
Dateline: Nevada--The city council of tiny Mesquite, Nev.,
voted last week to allow a Pamplona-style bull run down the main
street of their town. The bull run is the brainchild of an American
businessman who plans to charge 1,000 people $50 apiece to jog
with the bulls.
Dateline: Nevada--Actor Max Baer Jr., best known for his
role as the dimwitted Jethro Bodine on TV's "The Beverly
Hillbillies," has announced plans to construct Jethro's Beverly
Hillbillies Mansion & Casino in Reno, Nev. The casino/hotel,
which is expected to begin construction in 1999, will feature
such sitcom-themed attractions as Granny's Shotgun Wedding Chapel,
Granny's Vittles and Hog Jowls restaurant and Drysdale's Fancy
Eatin' for Rich'uns. Baer, now age 60, insists that the $100 million
project will be "tastefully done."
--compiled by Devin D. O'Leary