Weekly Wire
Metro Pulse Psychic Movie Predictions

MARCH 20, 2000: 

Former Saturday Night Live writer Barry W. Blaustein steps behind the curtains of the almighty WWF and treats his subjects to both a critical eye and idealized reverence. His camera also captures a walk-through/scripting session (sorry to break the hearts of those who still believe wrestling's real) and the birth of a new wrestler named The Puke.
Prediction: It'll be an in-depth look at the hucksterism and the heart that make up the biggest "sporting" event in America.
Probable Entertainment Value: A

Julia Roberts is a research assistant who helps attorney Albert Finney win a case against an evil, scum-sucking utility company using her wit, street smarts, and cleavage—lots and lots of cleavage. And the real Brockovich even gets a cameo.
Prediction: Director Steven Soderbergh has made some great films, like The Limey, Out of Sight, and, my fave, Gray's Anatomy. But can this picture overcome Roberts' star-power? Probably, even she can go three minutes without tossing her mane of hair or flashing her toothy grin.
Probable Entertainment Value: A

Teenager Alex Browning (Devon Sawa) knows when, where, and how death will strike. Alex saves his friends from the Reaper; unfortunately, death won't be cheated and hunts them down, one by one. Damn persistent, that death is...
Prediction: Unfortunately, Sawa couldn't see that death would strike his career shortly after this movie was made.
Probable Entertainment Value: D

Filmmaker Errol Morris (The Thin Blue Line; Fast, Cheap, and Out of Control) has a knack for finding very strange, very interesting folk to aim his lens at. This time he has found one Mr. Fred A. Leuchter, Jr., an engineer who spent half of his life building better Death Row implements and the other half starring on the Holocaust denial circuit. Call Leuchter every filthy name that you will, but you can't deny that he's fascinating.
Prediction: Morris is a genius of the documented bizarre. Case closed.
Probable Entertainment Value: A

Agnes and Elin are two teenage girls trapped in the most boring town in the world—ml, Sweden. They try to spice up their lives with quirky suicide attempts and the abuse of Tums, proving that the town may or may not be boring, but that these girls certainly are.
Prediction: It sold more tickets than Titanic. In Sweden.
Probable Entertainment Value: C

Anne Heche's mom can perform miracles and rogue priest Ed Harris is sent to check it out. Harris, however, swoons for the lovely Heche and questions his vows. Sound familiar?
Prediction: Better than Stigmata or a sharp stick in the eye.
Probable Entertainment Value: C

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