ashtrays? doilies? armpits? hog farms? shoehorns? personal stalkers? epiphanies? dumpsters? vermin? big egos? moog synthesizers? first-date horror stories? mothball collections? annoying habits? wet dogs? thrift-store chairs? boring home movies? canker sores? favorite dirty jokes? bad hair days? ideologies? closeted skeletons? week-old pizza crusts? teenage love poems? Pauly Shore movies? embarrassing fetishes? banjos? coatamundis? tonsils? supercilious attitudes? piano-key ties? viruses? Anne Rice novels? ingrown nosehairs? foolish pride? visible panty lines? MC Hammer albums? bongo drums? Flashdance sweatshirts? kidney stones? superiority complexes? right-wing conspiracies? cheap microwave burritos?