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Odds and Ends
By Devin D. O'Leary
FEBRUARY 15, 1999:
Dateline: South Korea--On the plus side, they've got nowhere
to go but up. Kuwait's national ice hockey team broke into the
record books by giving up an astonishing 79 goals in just two
games early last week at the Winter Asian Games in Yongpyong,
South Korea. On Sunday, Kuwait lost to China 44-1. On Monday,
the team followed it up with a 35-0 shutout against Japan. Although
Kuwaiti coach Bruce Smith--a Canadian national--described the
loss to Japan as "the longest game of my life," player
Al-Ajmi Salem did manage to score the first goal ever by any Arab
country in an international hockey match during Sunday's loss
to China. "It was a great moment for Kuwait hockey in an
otherwise dark day," said Smith.
Dateline: Germany--A German court ruled last Tuesday that
two male slave workers forced into labor by the Nazis during World
War II were, indeed, eligible for government pensions. Previously,
higher German courts had said that without proper pension contributions
being made, no pension could be paid out. In their groundbreaking
decision, the Düsseldorf Court for Social Issues ruled that
"under the Nazi regime of terror, these criteria would be
impossible." The judgment could open the way for other forced
laborers to apply for pension payments for the period when they
worked as slaves.
Dateline: Canada--In what was surely a well-planned tribute
to the Three Stooges, three suspects made one of the shortest
breaks for freedom as they were led from a police van to a court
appearance in Ontario last Monday. The trio's spontaneous escape
attempt ended a few seconds later when, forgetting they were shackled
together, the men passed on either side of a lamp post. The three
suspects collided in a comic heap and were quickly subdued by
police.
Dateline: California--Federal prosecutors in California
had offered Bernardo Arroyo, 26, a deal which would have resulted
in a mere two-year prison sentence for his involvement in a reputed
drug ring--but the convicted drug dealer turned down the government's
offer on advice from his psychic. Arroyo was convicted last month
of conspiracy to distribute methamphetamine, as well as a separate
charge of distributing methamphetamine. A psychic allegedly assured
Arroyo that he would never spend a day behind bars, so Arroyo
promptly rejected the prosecutor's deal, waived his right to a
jury trial and placed his fate in the hands of U.S. District Court
Judge Oliver W. Wanger. Arroyo now faces a mandatory 10 years
in prison and will be sentenced on April 5. For an extra $8,000,
Arroyo's psychic friend offered to put a curse on the Assistant
U.S. Attorney who prosecuted him. Arroyo apparently didn't want
to spend the extra money and declined.
Dateline: South Dakota--Jerold Nissen, 44, pled guilty
to one count of attempted first-degree robbery after being fingered
by his own odor. Nissen went to great lengths to camouflage his
identity when he tried to rob the Royal Casino in Aberdeen, S.D.,
on Nov. 4. Disguising his face with a Halloween mask and covering
his body with a long dark coat, Nissen pulled a gun on casino
employees and demanded cash. Unfortunately for the stinky sneakthief,
one female worker who had become familiar with Nissen's cologne
during his frequent visits to the casino thought the robbery was
a joke. She called Nissen by name and told him to "knock
it off." With his identity uncovered, Nissen laughingly took
off his mask and gambled for a while before leaving the casino
empty handed. It wasn't until casino workers discovered their
phone lines had been cut that they realized the robbery attempt
had been in earnest. Nissen was apprehended and now faces seven
years in state prison.
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