A Great View

by Ben Ikenson

January 13 - January 19, 2000

The Future Is Now!
Of Tumultuous 2000... And Beyond!
Local Psychics' Predictions for Times Ahead

The 1999 P.U.-Litzer Awards for Stinky Journalism

Media Time Capsule at the End of a Millennium

The latest raves, rants and ramblings of our beloved readers

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Celebration

Cap'n Opinion
The Fat Police Will Die

All in the Family
Primaries Force a Different Kind of Campaigning

Thanks for the Good Ones
Public Safety Workers Deserve Praise

Odds & Ends
Time-released news capsules from the flipside

Skeletons in the Closet
Babes of All Stripes
70 Years Ago This Week

Community & Events Calendar
Lectures, workshops, meetings and other local events for the coming week

On Assignment
Conservation in the West
Native Americans Lead the Way

Best of the Blotter
(January 6, 2000)

Best of the Blotter
(December 16, 1999)

Best of the Blotter
(December 9, 1999)

On Nov. 21, a number of people riding the famous Sandia Tram got to witness something the Department of Tourism brochures don't mention. A 41-year-old woman -- a city planner from San Francisco, Calif., -- had dangerously climbed one of the tram's towers, ignoring signs that read "survivors will be prosecuted, stay off tower." She was approximately 80 feet above ground when two tram operators, who were taking passengers down from the peak, noticed her and unsuccessfully tried to convince her to climb down. Apparently, she left her mind in San Francisco. The two men had to perform a rescue operation to return her to safe ground, where she was issued a citation for criminal trespassing and for disorderly conduct.

Thug or Sissy?

On Dec. 1, an armed robbery took place at Miller's Outpost, a clothing store at 5001 San Mateo Boulevard NE. The suspect, who wore a blue, hooded Fila sweatshirt, asked an employee if the store sold shoe laces. After being told it did not, the man walked around the store anyway, found an item and brought it to the cash register, where a clerk began to ring it up. "I have a gun," the suspect told the clerk while leaning over the counter. "Don't be stupid. Give me the money in your drawer. This job is not worth it." The cashier gave the man all the currency in the drawer, a sum of $156. The suspect was obviously not charged for the merchandise he got away with -- a pair of pink, Princess-brand panties.

Crustacean Crook

The Wild, Wild West sure ain't living up to its reckless, shoot 'em up reputation when the crime of the day is a man trying to steal seafood from a gourmet grocery store, and then deciding he'd better not, by golly. On Nov. 30, a 46-year-old man was cited for trying to heist 17 bucks' worth of cooked shrimp from Wild Oats Market on 6300 San Mateo Boulevard NE. Apparently, the man ordered the shrimp at the meat counter, and then, in accordance with traditional shoplifting etiquette, roamed around the store until he found what he thought was a good opportunity to stuff the merchandise under his shirt. He then walked out the store's south exit with his seafood concealed. According to reports, though, he "possibly realized he was being observed so he re-entered through the west door and placed the package on an ice machine." He was issued a misdemeanor citation and a criminal trespass notification. And, meanwhile, Billy the Kid is probably crapping in his Lincoln County grave with laughter.

The Freaks Come Out at Night

At 2:08 a.m. on Dec. 1, Police were dispatched to TD's Showclub North, a strip joint on 6001 Brentwood Lane NE, in reference to a customer harassing an employee. While en route, police were informed that the suspect was in a brown vehicle and, according to reports, was "wearing a badge." When the cops arrived on the scene, a bouncer pointed at the suspect's car and yelled, "there he goes." Police followed the vehicle, which was swerving and going very slowly and which "nearly struck the median." Police eventually stopped the vehicle and approached the 55-year-old male driver, who was indubitably plastered: "He had bloodshot eyes, slurred speech," a police report said. One of the cops contacted the bouncer, who said the man had been harassing one of the club dancers, that he had refused to leave, and that it seemed like he was waiting for the dancer to leave. When they searched the car, police found two security badges, a loaded .45 handgun, and a 9mm handgun, all under the driver's seat. The man was booked for aggravated DWI, negligent use of firearms, and failure to maintain a traffic lane. Please, be careful of specimens such as these.

Source: Albuquerque Police Department records

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