Weekly Wire
Metro Pulse Psychic Movie Predictions

JANUARY 19, 1999: 

Val Kilmer plays a blind guy who gets his sight back, learns all about love, life, and redemption. Oh, and almost gets killed by a taxi cab. Based on a true story, like every other movie that has come out in the last three months.
Prediction: I doubt that it'll be half as heart-warming as If You Could See What I Hear.
Probable Entertainment Value: C

Meryl Streep puts on an Irish accent and goes to playwright Brian Friel's Tony-winning world of tormented sisters and demented uncles. Oh, and there are also some crazed hill-folk. Hey, it's a lot like living in Knoxville...
Prediction: They should have called it Snoring At Lughnasa.
Probable Entertainment Value: C

Claire Cooper (Annette Bening) is haunted by dreams of serial killer Vivian Thompson (Robert Downey Jr.). Like all good prophets, she tries to convince those in charge of her psychic link to the deranged. They don't believe her and she drives herself crazy in order to stop the murderous Vivian. 'Course we all know that the whole tragedy could have been averted if only Vivian's folks had thought to name him something butch, like Thor or Steve. (And local film fans take note: some outdoor scenes were shot here.)
Prediction: A Metro Pulse staffer caught an advance screening and commented "If this is what (director) Neil Jordan has to do to finance intelligent projects like The Butcher Boy, so be it."
Probable Entertainment Value: C

It's finally here. Twenty years after the brilliant Days of Heaven, which won almost every award a film can win, infamous, visionary, and somewhat-reclusive director Terence Malick takes on World War II with his own unique panache and precision. Nick Nolte, Sean Penn, John Cusak, and Woody Harrelson get the chance to go down in cinema history.
Prediction: If you've read any entertainment news in the last few weeks, this film has been part of it. And, by all accounts, it was worth waiting for.
Probable Entertainment Value: A

Texas high school football fans make Vol lovers look like dilettantes. How do the kids keep from cracking under all of the pressure that these adults smash onto their young shoulders? Let James Van Der Beek and Jon Voight give you an object lesson in this Brian Robbins (Good Burger, The Show) project.
Prediction: Teensploitation at its finest.
Probable Entertainment Value: B

Jamie Lee Curtis in space. Big, bad aliens. Scary.
Prediction: A tepid, insipid, and flaccid Alien rip-off (number 328 in a never-ending series!).
Probable Entertainment Value: D

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