Weekly Wire
Weekly Alibi Constitutional Illiteracy

By Cap'n O

JANUARY 19, 1999:  Listen to the radio or read the newspapers and you learn that this nation seems to be awash in illiteracy. Despite the billions of dollars that we've poured into education in the past few decades, thousands upon thousands of college freshmen can't read. High school students can't read, grammar school students can't read. Hell, even teachers are having trouble reading these days.

A nation busting with people who can't read has problems. An ignorant populace is easily manipulated by liars. That can kill off democracy in a flash. It can also lead to immense health problems. Mopes who can't read how much salt there is in prepared foods won't know to stop buying the stuff and will wind up with blood shooting out of their ears.

It isn't just students who can't read. It appears that most of the country, including TV babblers, pundits and supporters of President Horny can't read.

Or at least they haven't read the U.S. Constitution.

Self-important historians, Democratic congresspeople and others have been ranting about how wrong it is and what an assault on the Constitution it would be if the Senate were to find Bill Clinton guilty of lying to a grand jury and of obstruction of justice and impeach him. To these people, even lying to a grand jury isn't crime enough to remove a president (at least a Democratic president) from office. They've been babbling about how it doesn't rise to the level of impeachment.

These people should read the Constitution.

Section 4, Article 2 of the Constitution reads:

"The President, Vice President and all civil Officers of the United States, shall be removed from Office on Impeachment for, and Conviction of, Treason, Bribery, or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors."

If The Big Liar's supporters had bothered to read this document they would have saved themselves the embarrassment of running around whining that impeachment is unconstitutional and an outrage against the people. It isn't. The Constitution prescribes it.

There's another word in that sentence about impeachment that our ignorant citizens and historians need to learn: Misdemeanors.

The president can be impeached for treason, bribery or "other high Crimes and Misdemeanors."

People! Misdemeanors are crimes. Misdemeanors include drunken driving, simple battery, disturbing the peace, shoplifting, failing to appear in court, vandalism and other relatively minor things. But not all misdemeanors are innocent and relatively harmless. Most domestic violence cases are misdemeanors. Try telling a battered wife that the crime committed against her is unimportant.

Most of the people who make the City-County Jail their home are in there on misdemeanor charges. Metropolitan Court handles more than 30,000 cases a year. Ninety-nine percent of those are misdemeanor cases. Every day in Metro Court judges issue hundreds of arrest warrants for people who have failed to show up for court. Those are in misdemeanor cases. Get convicted of a misdemeanor and you can spend up to 364 days in jail.

Every day, Metro Court judges sentence people to jail time, whether it be 90 days, six months or a year. Many of those people will lose their jobs. It's hard to show up for work while you're locked up in a cell.

Every day in America, thousands of people are jailed on misdemeanor charges. Every day, tens of thousands of peoples' lives--from sheet metal workers to CEOs--are inconvenienced and ruined because they broke the law and committed misdemeanors. Why should the president be treated any differently?

Clinton is accused of lying to a grand jury and of obstructing justice. Those are felonies, meaning they're more serious than misdemeanors. In New Mexico, the lowest class felony carries an 18-month prison sentence. People are sent to prison every day on charges like that. More serious felonies can get you 18 years.

So let's stop the nonsense about how what Clinton is accused of doesn't rise to the level of impeachment and that attempting to impeach this president is contrary to the Constitution. The Constitution says that a president can be impeached for misdemeanors. Apparently, the founding fathers felt that presidents should obey our laws. Clinton is accused of things that are considered felonies.

And let's stop this Constitutional illiteracy that is sweeping the land. Read the greatest document on human rights ever written.

You might learn something.

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