Imagine an alternate reality where bad sitcoms are shown in first-run movie theatres instead of being canceled, and that they last for 85 excruciating minutes without the blessed reprieve of a commercial break. Imagine a screenplay so unfunny that, even though it includes the latest office humor, gender clichés, and Shaft parodies, it fails to elicit one laugh from its dumbstruck audience. Imagine a lead actor who delivers his lines in such an odd, stilted manner that no amusement is derived from his wretched quipping. Imagine a novice film critic gouging out his own eyes after just one horrifying glimpse into this strange, terrible universe.
--Greg Petix
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