Mikael Salomon's Hard Rain avoids the supernatural and still turns out
narratively soggy. The ridiculous plot works this way: Charlie (Ed Asner) and
Tom (Christian Slater) are driving an armored car carrying $3 million through
the rain when they get caught in a flood. Then they get held up by calm Jim
(Morgan Freeman), geeky Mr. Mehlor (Dann Florek), nutty Kenny (Michael
Goorjian) and token minority Ray (Ricky Harris). Charlie gets dead. Tom gets
away with the dough. Then he gets arrested by the sheriff (Randy Quaid) for
being a looter, though there's no evidence for that and a lot of evidence for
his being an armored car driver. Oh, yes, there's also a girl named Karen
(Minnie Driver) who doesn't even have the decency to wear her wet T-shirt
without a bra.
The usual hokum prevails. Water rises here with the speed of a tumbler being
filled from a wide open tap. One minute the jail is the only dry spot in town,
the next minute Tom is breathing through a tube stuck out the air vent at the
top of his cell. Pretty soon everybody's riding around in speedboats and jet
skis, driving through the halls of the high school and up over rooftops. Karen
knows just the right grate to unscrew from the top of the jailhouse (doesn't
that mean it must rain in?) to save Tom, though why she suddenly has the
inclination is an enduring mystery. The bad guys can always find Tom wherever
he's hiding, even if they have to employ ESP (that's Especially Sloppy
Plotting).
And then -- and then -- everybody changes sides. But the sheriff and his team
become murdering rapists, and Jim becomes Tom and Karen's ally, a man who
believes so strongly in the sanctity of life now that he won't kill the sheriff
even though the sheriff has spent a whole lot of time trying to kill him. I
might just laugh this picture off as purely pathetic, but it actually has a
message to deliver: A little larceny isn't really all that bad a thing, now is
it? Yes, I'm afraid it is. So don't let this picture rip you off.
--Rick Barton
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Film Vault Suggested Links
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