American Beauty it's not. Banal and maddeningly cliché'd, the script, penned by Alan Zweibel and Jessie Nelson, reduces matrimony to a fatuous, penis-versus-vagina battle of the sexes. And what the film lacks in insight it doesn't gain in humor, mining laughs from a memory lane of outdated 'dos and the ample ass of Reiner, who, along with the borderline-offensive Rita Wilson, plays one of the pair's gibbering pals. Even Pfeiffer, in her big crying scene, snivels like a bad imitation of Gwyneth Paltrow's Oscar speech, and Willis, in V-neck-sweater mode, coasts through, a caricature of distress. Here love hurts all right -- it hurts to watch.