An enigma wrapped in a conundrum sealed in a plain brown vapor-lock baggie that --
wonder of wonders! -- actually makes a fair amount of sense. In the five years since
creator Chris Carter brought his conspiracy-laden, UFOlogist's dream-come-true television
show to the upstart Fox network, the ongoing saga of FBI agents Fox Mulder (Duchovny)
and Dana Scully (Anderson) -- he of the credulous wisecracks and she of the pragmatic,
slightly chilly disdain -- has amassed a cult popularity to rival that of The Fugitive
(or, perhaps more accurately, The Prisoner). Any way you slice it, though, Carter's
paranormal, paranoid brainchild was predestined to make the leap to the big screen
someday, and now that that yawning crevasse has been summarily bridged, the show
seems poised for a revitalization of sorts. The series' early, basic plot lines --
Mulder and Scully investigate a mysterious circumstance, one or the other is put
in jeopardy (usually in the dark), and the other arrives in the nick of time (always
with a flashlight) -- have given way to the convoluted "mythology" stories, a twisted
skein of conspiracy theorist ejaculate that has almost single-handedly devoured most
of the Internet's remaining bandwidth. In pre-release hype, Carter and director Bowman
(who has helmed multiple TV episodes) promise that "the truth," that precious commodity
so often alluded to but so rarely outed, would, indeed, find its way onto the big
screen. That's not really the case, but you can't blame Carter for fudging a bit
-- it's as much a part of his nature as Mulder's closet porn fetish. What audiences
will get is essentially a glitzy, expanded episode, albeit one with gobs of high
style, gorgeous cinematography courtesy of Ward Russell, tremendous use of sound,
and a few nifty revelations. For non-fans, the story manages to hold its own, being
neither inexplicable nor too obvious. Briefly, it concerns the devastating terrorist
bombing of a Dallas federal building, which may or may not be linked to a quartet
of unexplained civilian deaths, and a mysterious virus, which may or may not be linked
to global government duplicity and associated with an ancient, non-terrestrial race.
You can be sure that all of this ties in to the Kennedy assassination and the ever-fluctuating
price of Tamagotchis in Sheboygen, though Carter has yet to make that clear. Almost
all of the series regulars turn up, notably Davis' Cigarette-Smoking Man, Pileggi's
Chief Skinner, and the trio of techoids known as the Lone Gunmen, as well as a new
"Deep Throat" in the form of Landau. The X-Files' saving grace has always been Carter's
slyly subversive sense of humor, and that's in full effect here, leavening the earth-shaking
(literally) proceedings with an occasional dose of wry, Duchovnian smarm. Neither
the revelatory orgasm promised nor the stillborn confuse-o-thon feared, The X-Files
cinematic debut is solid, workmanlike stuff, and enough to keep the legions of X-philes
sated until next September. And since I realize some of you are dying to know, no,
Mulder's butt remains, as always, fully clothed.
--Marc Savlov
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